Admissions Essay Style and Tone: Word Choice - Continued

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Essay Styles and Tone Categories:

Sentence Variety | Word Choice | Verbs | Transitions | Essay Clichés

Use precise language.

Choose words that capture your experience fully and accurately. For example:

Vague: "When we first started the business, I performed a range of duties to get the company going."

Precise: "When we first started the business, I took the initiative to contact potential partners, evaluate the service of our competitors, and tailor our plan to local markets."

Use nouns and verbs rather than adverbs and adjectives.

Inexperienced writers think that using fancy adverbs and adjectives will make their writing look more eloquent, but in fact they just bog down your rhythm and usually sound like fluff. They also tend to make your writing sound abstract because they are not actual physical substances. Good writers stick to concrete nouns that the reader can grasp, and even more importantly, vivid verbs that are the lifeblood of active, engaging language.

Before: "I ran quickly to the board where the results would be posted, with many curious people standing around waiting anxiously to see their scores."

After: "I rushed to the board to find people crowded around, muttering prayers to themselves as they awaited the dean’s arrival with their score results."

The phrase “ran quickly” has become the more succinct and punchy “rushed.” Instead of “many curious people standing around,” we have substituted “people crowded around muttering prayers to themselves.” Thus we gain a more vivid verb in “crowded” and a concrete image of people muttering prayers instead of the abstract adjective “curious” and the clunky adverb “anxiously.” In focusing on nouns and verbs, we have succeeded in showing instead of telling.