Sample Law School Narrative Essay - Continued

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Family night occurred during the last week of Summerbridge. We explained to the parents what we had accomplished. At the conclusion, Andrew's mom thanked me for teaching him Latin. She said, "Andrew wanted to speak Latin with someone, so he taught his younger brother."

My mouth fell open. I tempered my immediate desire to utter, "Andrew did what?" I was silent for a few seconds as I tried to regain my composure, but when I responded, I was unable to hide my surprise.

That night I remembered a comment an English teacher had made to me. I had asked her, "Why did you become a teacher?"

She responded with a statement that perplexed me at the time. She said, "There is nothing greater than empowering someone with the love of knowledge." Now, I finally understood what she meant.

When I returned to Summerbridge for my second summer, the first words out of Andrew's mouth were, "Is there going to be a Latin class this year?"

COMMENTS:

This is a strong essay, in part because the writer opens with action and paints a vivid picture of the situation in the reader’s mind (“I walked into the first class that I have ever taught and confronted utter chaos.”). Precise details and descriptions, such as “cold sweat,” “indoor chariot races,” and “Roman toga party,” help solidify the scene. The use of dialogue and thoughts to make points is much more enjoyable to read than simple declarative statements would be.

What separates this essay from other good narrative essays is that the writer interposes apt commentary within the anecdote. Waiting until the final paragraph to discuss how the experience changed him would have resulted in a drier piece. The essay does a good job of portraying the writer’s growth during the experience, because it notes his genuine surprise and subsequent realizations (“I thought to myself, ‘Teaching can’t be that difficult. I can handle it.’ I have never been more wrong in my life.”).

The conclusion is executed well, bringing the reader back to material presented in the introduction while indirectly emphasizing how the experience has made a lasting impression upon both the writer and his pupil.

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