Establishing Rapport with Job Interviewer - Continued

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You can generate good vibes and emotions when you actively listen to the interviewer. This does not mean that you need to ask her about her childhood or her greatest fears. Your interviewer does not need you as a confidant. She just needs to feel like you are an attentive and engaged interviewee. So, when you find yourself facing your interviewer across a table (after you have made certain no stray particles blemish your otherwise radiant smile), you can be certain she wants to be listened to and respected.

The active listening skills you can employ to connect with your interviewer are not unique, but are seldom used. (Think of the last time someone gave you his undivided, empathetic attention for an hour!) In some ways these skills are an art - but don't worry, you can develop the ability with some practice. 

Use empathetic body language.

Both your words and your behavior will affect whether you establish a connection with the interviewer. When you meet the potential employer or human resources officer, you will want to show that you are confident, trusting, open, attentive, and eager, but restrained.

All of this can be communicated in a handshake. Make sure that your hand is about perpendicular to the floor. If you extend your hand with your palm facing down, you indicate that you need to be in control-something that can be off-putting in an interview scenario. If you extend your hand with your palm facing up, you can appear overly docile. Try extending your hand with your palm relatively flat, so that you offer to make full contact with the other person's hand. If you cup your hand, you indicate that you mistrust the other person.

Likewise, your posture throughout the interview indicates whether you are open and attentive, or somehow withdrawn from the interviewer. Leaning back shows boredom or sometimes insolence. It is better to sit up straight and lean forward just slightly, facing the interviewer directly. Crossing your arms in front of you may indicate that you are somehow defensive, whether from insecurity or mistrust. Try to keep your arms open, even if your legs are crossed.